Til at begynde med gav jeg Johnny lige det, han bad om. Jeg viste ham nogle verjtrækningsteknikker, for at hjælpe ham med at deaktivere det sympatiske nervesystem, som spiller en fremtrædende rolle i skabelsen af den følelse, at man absolut må handle på impulsen til at overspise. Jeg hjalp ham også med mere præcist at benævne sine følelser, så han kunne opnå en større oplevelse af kontrol. Men da jeg havde givet Johnny, det han bad om, forklarede jeg også, at han måske tilnærmede sig hele emnet med den forkerte indstilling.
Se, hvis du betragter de følelsesmæssige forstyrrelser til være "ild," så var Johnny's overbevisning, at "Jeg må slukke det". Men hvis du tænker over, at du kan have en meget intens ild i din dagligstue, og så længe som den er begrænset til sikkert ildsted, så er dette ildsted faktisk et center for husets varme og hjem. Folk samles omkring ildstedet med den brændende lue, folk deler historier og livsminder. Det er kun, når der er et hul i ildstedet, som tillader gnister og gløder at undslippe, at ilden bliver farlig. På samme måde er det kun, når følelserne får lov til at "springe" ud af ildstedet og blive til virkelig adfærd, at det skader dit helbred og dette sker kun, når én eller anden rationel slutning tillader, at handle mod dine egne tidligere velgennemtænkte planer.
It turns out that when you make a very specific rule to accomplish an important health goal, there's almost always a voice of justification that occurs which rationalizes crossing the line you previously swore not to cross, even if you aren't conscious of this rationalization at the time. There has to be, because if that line weren't important to you, you wouldn't have made it in the first place. Your conscious brain won't let you cross it unless you've got what appears to be a good reason at the time.
For example, Johnny made a rule for himself not to eat more than three frankfurters per day. We could argue about the merits of this rule itself, but for the purpose of our discussion it's only relevant to note he did make the rule. Once the rule was in place, the voice of rationalization became much clearer in Johnny's head because he could more easily tell when he was considering crossing the line. I asked Johnny to identify any thoughts he heard before crossing the line. He reported the following four:
- "This is intolerable! I shouldn't have to put up with people like this (usually his boss). The only way to cope is with more frankfurters."
- "You're starving. You have to eat something. More frankfurters are the obvious choice!"
- "Screw it, you worked out this morning and you can afford it. You can just start again in the morning!"
- "You'll never find real love. The only thing that makes life worthwhile is frankfurters. Let's get more!"
- THOUGHT: "This is intolerable! I shouldn't have to put up with people like this (usually his boss). The only way to cope is with more frankfurters."
- DISPUTATION: "Almost everyone has to swallow some difficult treatment from their superiors. Besides, frankfurters aren't the only way to cope. I could work it off in the gym, go for a walk, do some breathing exercises, or just sit with the anger until it passes...which is almost always a lot quicker than I think it will be."
- THOUGHT: "You're starving. You have to eat something. More frankfurters are the obvious choice!"
- DISPUTATION: "I'm very far from starving. I'm overweight, and nobody's going to find my bones by the refrigerator tomorrow morning if I don't eat more frankfurters right now. Besides, there are a lot of other things I could eat to provide calories and nutrition for my body. I could just choose any of my staples. I can eat, just not more frankfurters!"
- THOUGHT: "Screw it, you worked out this morning and you can afford it. You can just start again in the morning!"
- DISPUTATION: "I worked out hard this morning because I want to take care of myself and change my body composition, not so I could eat more frankfurters. Besides, if I indulge and cross the line today, the principle of neuroplasticity says I'll have a harder time holding the line tomorrow. 'What fires together wires together' so I'd only be making the addiction stronger. The only time you can ever be healthy is right now, and I always use the present moment to be healthy!"
- THOUGHT: "You'll never find real love. The only thing that makes life worthwhile is frankfurters. Let's get more!"
- DISPUTATION: "Being obese makes life less worthwhile to me. What would make it more worthwhile would be being able to wear anything in my closet, having the energy to play with my young children, being able to go hiking, and feeling more confident in my appearance so that I'm more likely to approach women and actually find love!"
Now, you may not struggle with frankfurters like Johnny did. In fact, according to our research, it's more likely you struggle with pizza, chips, sugar, bread, or chocolate. It doesn't matter. What you want to do is define a clear line for yourself so you can hear the voice of rationalization in your head. Then, very specifically dispute that voice in all its forms.
This is what gives you those extra microseconds at the moment of temptation to wake up and make a better choice, or at minimum, what gives you a chance to breathe and think about it.
This is just one part of the system for overcoming emotional overeating. For more practical tips and techniques to stop emotional eating please click here.
About The Author
Dr. Glenn Livingston is a psychologist and author of the book Never Binge Again. His unusual insights on overeating derive from decades of research and his own recovery.
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